As of today, the babies are eight months old. They have been out in the world for 35 weeks. They were born at 35 weeks gestation....so they have been living outside of me longer than they lived in the womb. It is hard to believe that much time has passed.
Motherhood has been a much bigger challenge than I had imagined. My patience is tested more often than I care to admit. I am worn down and tired more often than not. Often times in the evenings, between the hours of 5:30pm and 7:30pm-when the babies go to sleep, I feel like I have been a mother forever and have lost all of my motherly patience....then things start to settle down. The babies are dressed in their pajamas, they breastfeed for one last time in the day, and Lonnie and I each hold one of our little ones and give them their only bottle of the day to top them off before they go to sleep. They dreamily drink as their eye lids start to drop. They snuggle in close before we put them into their cribs and quickly fall asleep. Just before Lonnie and I go to bed, I start to miss my babies, and I peek in on them sleeping quietly in their cribs. They look angelic and almost unreal in their perfection of tiny doll-like hands and features. I still find it hard to believe that I am able to participate in making and raising these children.
My pregnancy was not easy. I was sick to my stomach (to put it mildly) for the entire pregnancy. At fourteen weeks, I received a cervical cerclage, due to an incompetent cervix. I also had gestational diabetes. I also wasn't able to have the delivery that I had hoped due to Maya's transverse position and Max's breach. But I loved being pregnant. I loved the feeling of the babies moving inside me. I learned to give up my body and my sleep, which helped only slightly prepare me for the exhaustion of motherhood.
Certainly, there are days when I wonder if I am a good mother, but I am trying. There are things about being a mother that have come a lot less easily and intuitively than I thought they would, like breastfeeding or getting the babies to sleep. There are also a lot of things that have come a lot easier than I thought they would, like my ability to calm my babies with just my voice or my presence. I am trying to learning patience with myself and with my expectations. I also have a much greater appreciation for all mothers.
"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." (Jill Churchill)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
even more christmas photos
The babies with their great-grandma and great-grandpa Allred
How many Allreds can you fit on a couch?
Lonnie was proud to find out that although I went to BYU (but never attended a football game), Great Grandpa Allred played football at the University of Utah. Here are Max and Greatgrandpa Wallace Allred dressed in their best Ute attire.
more christmas photos
Max really loved his new duck.
Andy and Abby's dog Nacho had a great Christmas too.
Maya with Auntie Aimee.
Max and his red-head cousin Kelly.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
don't do drugs
Just a warning.....
After going to the doctors last Wednesday the babies were prescribed Albuterol to help them breath better. Lonnie went and picked up the prescription on Wednesday night and we started the babies on the breathing treatments on Thursday. The medicine is administered though and inhaler attached to a tube and then a mask. It looks kind of like this (only our kids don't sit quite that still).
Unfortunately one of the possible side effects of Albuterol is nervousness and hyperactivity. Which is exactly how Maya reacted. She was actually in a pretty good mood all day but wiggled and wiggled and would not stop. When we tried to put her to bed and her normal 7pm bed time she fought going to sleep for more than 5 hours. She would fall asleep exhausted and then wake up again screaming less than 30 mins later. They only thing that would calm her down was holding her close. At about 1am she finally feel asleep for the night, I put her in the pack and play in the spare room and tried to get some sleep myself, but I could heard he wiggling all night long.
Just what we all needed while we were trying to get over being sick, staying up all night with a hyper-active-drugged-out-7-month-old. When I called the doctor on Friday morning the nurse said that this side effect is fairly common and we should try Xopenex instead, which does not have the hyper-active/crazy-child side effect. Why we didn't start out with this prescription is beyond me.
Thankfully the new meds and time seem to be working on running the course of this demon illness and the babies are breathing better now. Maya, who is a couple of days ahead of Max in the illness, seems to have gotten almost over it and Max is finally starting to show improvement. I unfortunately have lost my voice almost completely. So if I haven't answered your phone calls please understand, I sound like Darth Vader and it is quite frightening.
After going to the doctors last Wednesday the babies were prescribed Albuterol to help them breath better. Lonnie went and picked up the prescription on Wednesday night and we started the babies on the breathing treatments on Thursday. The medicine is administered though and inhaler attached to a tube and then a mask. It looks kind of like this (only our kids don't sit quite that still).
Unfortunately one of the possible side effects of Albuterol is nervousness and hyperactivity. Which is exactly how Maya reacted. She was actually in a pretty good mood all day but wiggled and wiggled and would not stop. When we tried to put her to bed and her normal 7pm bed time she fought going to sleep for more than 5 hours. She would fall asleep exhausted and then wake up again screaming less than 30 mins later. They only thing that would calm her down was holding her close. At about 1am she finally feel asleep for the night, I put her in the pack and play in the spare room and tried to get some sleep myself, but I could heard he wiggling all night long.
Just what we all needed while we were trying to get over being sick, staying up all night with a hyper-active-drugged-out-7-month-old. When I called the doctor on Friday morning the nurse said that this side effect is fairly common and we should try Xopenex instead, which does not have the hyper-active/crazy-child side effect. Why we didn't start out with this prescription is beyond me.
Thankfully the new meds and time seem to be working on running the course of this demon illness and the babies are breathing better now. Maya, who is a couple of days ahead of Max in the illness, seems to have gotten almost over it and Max is finally starting to show improvement. I unfortunately have lost my voice almost completely. So if I haven't answered your phone calls please understand, I sound like Darth Vader and it is quite frightening.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Names
Lonnie
Gender: Boy
Origin: German
Meaning: Noble and ready
Alisa
Gender: Girl
Origin: German
Meaning: Noble, light
Maya
Gender: Girl
Origin: Hindi
Meaning: divine creative force in everything
Max
Gender: Boy
Origin: Latin
Meaning: the greatest
This is what Baby Center has listed as the meaning of our names. I never knew that both Lonnie and noble as the part of the meaning of our names...I guess we have a lot to live up to. More later on why we chose to name the babies Max and Maya.
Gender: Boy
Origin: German
Meaning: Noble and ready
Alisa
Gender: Girl
Origin: German
Meaning: Noble, light
Maya
Gender: Girl
Origin: Hindi
Meaning: divine creative force in everything
Max
Gender: Boy
Origin: Latin
Meaning: the greatest
This is what Baby Center has listed as the meaning of our names. I never knew that both Lonnie and noble as the part of the meaning of our names...I guess we have a lot to live up to. More later on why we chose to name the babies Max and Maya.
top baby names of 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
getting bigger
Max and Maya sharing their swing- 3 months old
Max and Maya sharing their swing at 7 months old.
We aren't quite as little as we used to be mom!!
Max and Maya sharing their swing at 7 months old.
We aren't quite as little as we used to be mom!!
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