two years

On Sunday at church our Relief Society meeting was about marriage. After reading a beautiful story about a couple married for over 50 years the teacher asked if we had ever been strengthened by a trial in marriage. Thinking about how our struggle to have children has brought us closer together, I wanted to share. Thinking that I normally can pull together coherent comment, I raised me hand. Unfortunately Sunday was not a regular day, I was in the middle of an infertility-drug-induced-hormone -roller-coaster and it was the day before my anniversary.

I started to say that Lonnie is not a romantic man. He doesn't bring me flowers, he doesn't make plan romantic plans for our anniversary, without much insistence, etc... Then I just started blubbering and crying which I believe by most was interpreted as meaning that I was sad that I wasn't married to a Don Juan. Or that I was sad that Lonnie didn't have another honeymoon trip planned for our anniversary. I kept talking but I can't really even remember what I was saying, blah, blah, blah.....

What I wanted to say is that more important and more essential to our marriage, Lonnie is my strength when I am weak. He is my shield from pain and my defender from my own self deprecation. When it really counts Lonnie is always the perfect husband.

If I want flowers, I can buy them myself. But after two years of being married to Lonnie I am a kinder, more considerate, more confidant person.

Two years ago Lonnie and I were married in Manti, Utah. It was a breezy and beautiful day. People often say that their wedding day was the best day of their life. I can't really say that, not that the day wasn't amazing. We were surrounded by family and friends and everything went as planned. To be honest I was in a daze most of the day. I was so happy and giddy to be married to Lonnie that I floated through the whole day. But it wasn't the happiest day of my life. The happiest days of my life have been every day since then.

I can't imagine being happier, more fulfilled, better appreciated, more respected or more loved than I am with Lonnie. As a 30-year-old getting married I had expected more of an adjustment to marriage. But some days I can't remember life without Lonnie at my side, building my confidence, filling my spirit and strengthening my heart.

-Alisa

helping each other

"The Lord does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other. The righteous life is achieved as we magnify our view of life, and expand our view of others and of our own possibilities. Thus, the more we follow the teachings of the Master, the more enlarged our perspective becomes. We see many more possibilities for service than we would have seen without this magnification. There is great security in spirituality, and we cannot have spirituality without service!"
--President Spencer W. Kimball

The first time I remember hearing this quote was when I was a missionary, and in line with my missionary assignment, I immediately identified myself as a service giver. As a missionary, I would be a person that would help the Lord meet the needs of others. Even as my life circumstances and roles have changed, I think that more often than not I identify myself as a service giver, that I try to see the needs of those around me and serve them.

As those who know her can attest, Alisa is a wonderful example of service giving. I think that Alisa is inherently blessed with the magnified perspective of life that President Kimball described. She has an ability to see so many possibilities to serve others. I enjoy the privilege of watching her every day in the ways that she builds others, whether it's a listening ear to a friend or visiting someone in the hospital that she just met a week before or babysitting for a relative or friend.

But Alisa and I now find ourselves in a more unfamiliar role, that of a service receiver. Neither Alisa nor I would have expected to need the service of others to help us fulfill our desire of having children, but we now find ourselves in this position. We are receiving service from many who have expressed that they are praying for us. We are receiving service from people who work in or have passed through the adoption process and are providing us with information to best manage the process. A service that we may yet receive could be that one of you knows someone who is placing a child for adoption and helps us make contact with the birth parents. And, of course, an immensely valued service for us would be that of a birth mother who makes the heart-wrenching decision to place her child into our family.

"It is vital that we serve each other." Sometimes we give service, and sometimes we receive. Through it all, we progress together.

-Lonnie